Comments on: Feel better, Becki

By: ocie5

ocie5 — Mon, 02 Aug 2004 08:28:40 +0000

In a message dated 11/7/99 7:27:16 PM Eastern Standard Time, becra@…
writes:
<<
courage. I will continue to fight but please be patient with me when I
go down. I will really try harder…Becki
Nag Nag Nag….no cigs. right. I will take it as an excuse if you really
are doing it. Loves and hugs…Becki
You are right Becki, I should have been more patient and allowed you to vent
without trying to make you see the brighter side immediately! We all need
time to get focused after a rough spot. I didn’t allow you that and I am
sorry. You are someone who tries so hard to be “UP”. And Yes all the nagging
is working…..day 3 and NO cigs! I want to blame it on that, but the
responsibility is mine!
((((HUGS))))
Christine

By: rodney_800

rodney_800 — Mon, 02 Aug 2004 03:14:32 +0000

Becki,
One of the things in your letter I really identify with is people thinking
you see better than you do. Because I want to be as independent as possible
I memorize things. Like I am sure you do. If I ever trip on anything you
better believe I remember right where it is. I can go to and find
everything in my house, because I memorize it, then my hubby or son moves
it and I cannot find it. I cook very little due to my vision, cannot tell
if any thing is done. Lately I have not been cooking at all due to being
sick. Anyway, I bought a George Foreman Grill last spring and I love it. It
cooks both sides at once. I had my family help in getting the times down to
when certain cuts of meat were done and now I just time them and take them
out. I don’t have to worry if they are done or turn them, which I would
always burn myself.
Like you Becki I always try to show an up side. People are always saying
they don’t know how I do it, but if I did show a down side to these same

people they would tell me I need to buckle up. So to me, showing a down
side is only self defeating, I only get criticized. That is why I let down
on this list. You have been there.
Gail

By: middleton40

middleton40 — Sun, 01 Aug 2004 20:50:56 +0000

Chris I did not take your post in a negative way. I know that there are
worst things that can or might happen to me and to others than being
blind and loosing your independence. It just is very hard to deal with
it day in and day out and know that it will never change back to what you
had. A lot of people I know have had sight problems with diabetes and I
just hope and pray that people will continually check with their eye
specialist to make sure that retinopathy has not attacked their eyes. It
really is devastating because you never can see what you saw before so
you know what you are missing. those who are born blind know that they
are missing things but in their mind’s eye they have decided what a tree
looks like, or what red feels like and what you might look like because
of voice or shape of the face. But I will never see my children’s eyes
again or drive a car, or be independent, or fix a meal with out my
magnifier, or even read a book. It is so hard to believe that just 3
short years ago I could do all of these things. I know that it does not

seem that hard to deal with but your psyche will not let it go. Just
like the other day when I was with a dear friend and she asked me why I
was not singing and wanted to know if it was because I could not see the
music….that was oart if it but the leader would not have it enlarged
before I got there and if I asked to have something repeated so I could
learn to memorize it I felt like I was keeping the group back. There
were other reasons but too involved to go into. I just broke down when I
talked to her because she really didn’t understand the pain I was in and
she is a diabetic also and her dad has lost his sight and a leg to
diabetes and she still is not taking care of herself. I just do not
understand. I really feel like I have been in hell already and there is
only one place for me to go now. I really do not want anyone else to go
through this. This I also wrote to a sister (sorority) in Minnesota and
she talked to me for 2 hours and it was good. She gave me cyber hugs and
listened. She has a sister in law who has lost her sight so she can
identify somewhat with my problem. My biggest problem is that I fake
everyone out and they really do not know what I can and can not see. MY
boss expects everything out of me and that is sort of the feeling I get
at church. People who do not have to deal with me see me differently
than those who see me fall, loose things, put the wrong things in meals,
mess up and loose my pills, or just break down because I can not deal
anymore. Like I told Jan,,,I hate to hurt and I hate to complain but I
get so tired of always being up. Thanks for listening the other day…I
needed to know that their were people out therfighting right along side
me like Gail. She has it worse than me and I look up to her for her
courage. I will continue to fight but please be patient with me when I
go down. I will really try harder…Becki
Nag Nag Nag….no cigs. right. I will take it as an excuse if you really
are doing it. Loves and hugs…Becki