Medical Humor
MEDICAL HUMOR
I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity
test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began,
“Cover your right eye with your hand.” He read the 20/20 line
perfectly. “Now your left.” Again, a flawless read. “Now both,” I
requested. There was silence. He couldn’t even read the large E on
the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what
I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was
laughing too hard to finish the exam.
-=+=-
A nurses’ aide was helping a patient into the bathroom when the patient
exclaimed,”You’re not coming in here with me. This is a one-seater!”
-=+=-
During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist, he informed his doctor that he was having trouble with
one of his medications. “Which one?”, asked the doctor.
“The patch.The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and
now I’m running out of places to put it!”
The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered what he hoped he
wouldn’t see….Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before
applying a new one.
-=+=-
A nurse caring for a woman from Kentucky asked, “So how’s your
breakfast this morning?”
“It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get
used to the taste,” the patient replied. The nurse asked to see the
jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled “KY Jelly.”