Idiot stories
(It’s *stuff* like this that gives the body a *lift*! Thanks to those who
send these things to me so I can pass them on. jh)
This is a scary world we live in
AN HONEST TO GOODNESS TRUE STORY:
I went to McDonald’s. I looked at the menu and saw that you could have
an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half-dozen nuggets.
“We don’t have a half-dozen nuggets,” said the teenager at the counter. “You
don’t?” I replied. “We only have six, nine, or twelve,” was the reply. “So I
can’t order a half-dozen nuggets but I can order six?” “That’s right.” So I
shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!!!!
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A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she
said she was shopping on the Internet and they asked for a credit card
number, so she’s using the ATM “thingy”.
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I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. “Do you
need some help?” I asked. She replied, “I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door un-locker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you
think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to
fit this?” “Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?” I asked. “No, just
this remote thingy,” she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, “Why don’t you
drive over there and check about the batteries… it’s a long walk.”
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Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, “I’m almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?” “Just use copier machine paper,” the secretary told
him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put
it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five “blank” copies.
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I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the
whole thing generally looked like an extra in “Twister.” I asked the manager
what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the “cruise control”
and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
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IDIOTS AT WORK…
Sign in a gas station: Coke — 49 cents. Two for a dollar.
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IDIOTS & COMPUTERS
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of
large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch
banks who had this question: “I’ve got smoke coming from the back of my
terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?”
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IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE
I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the
next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became
visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount
of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was
very disappointed.
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Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a
metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling
the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.