Diabetes Information

The Top 10 Signs You’re Being Stalked by Martha Stewart
10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out
of a magazine with pinking shears, and they’re all the same
size, the same font, and precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows.
9. That tell-tale lemon slice in the dog’s water bowl.
8. On her show she makes a gingerbread house that looks
exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen-over
licorice downspout and the stuck half-open graham cracker
garage door.
7. You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite
tarragon, rose petal and saffron demi-glace, with pecan-crusted
hearts of palm and a delicate mint-fennel sauce.
6. The unmistakable aroma of potpourri follows you even
after you leave the bathroom.
5. You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into
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MOVE AWAY FROM THERE. You need to rotate farther away than that. You can use
legs, arms, butt, tummy. You may be *also* having an absorption problem.
dr. Jan

TEN BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK
10. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
9. “This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that
time management course you sent me to.”
8. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just
in time!”
7. “I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and
envisioning a new paradigm.”
6. “I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.”
5. “I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve
work-related stress. Are you discriminating toward people who practice
Yoga?”
4. Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our
biggest problem.”
3. “The coffee machine is broken…”
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I goofed again!!! Hey, Babsie, did you hear my own personal voice asking for forgiveness?

a.u.

I’m groggy

M,
Sorry to leave you alone, but Hubby offered to take me grocery shopping
(haven’t gone for two weeks). I had better go while I have a way.
gd

Well, gang,
I had to get up before breakfast today and I yawned throughout the contest.
I gotta go take a nap. We’re traveling to Muncie tomorrow so I’d better be
rested since I’ll do the driving.
Later, Jan

THE MAN IN THE GLASS
THE MAN IN THE GLASS
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
and the world makes you king for a day
just go to a mirror and look at yourself
and see what the man has to say.
For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
whose judgement upon you must pass,
the fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
is the one staring back from the glass,
some people may think you a straight-shootin’ chum
and call you a wonderful guy
but the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
if you can’t look him straight in the eye.
He’s the fellow to please, never mind the rest
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Future as Seen in 1950
(1). “I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are,
its’ going to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20.”
(2) “Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won’t be long
when $5000 will only buy a used one.”
(3). “If cigarettes keep going up in price, I’m going to quit. A quarter
a pack is ridiculous.”
(4). “Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging dime just
to mail a letter?”
(5). “The Government is wanting to get its hands on everything. Pretty
soon it’s going to be impossible to run a family business or farm.”
(6). “If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire
outside help at the store.”
(7). “When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would
someday cost 50 cents a gallon. Guess we’d be better off leaving the car in
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Subject: Doggie Dictionary
1. LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your
person where you want him/her to go.
2. DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the
guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
3. DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don’t. To do
this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the
drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.
4. SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose
as close as you can to the other dog’s rear end and inhale deeply, repeat
several times, or until your person makes you stop.
5. GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test
your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off
with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers
to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.
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